New Year? Not again!
I wish a happy new year to everyone reading this. I know it is a bit late to wish or to even start thinking about “new year resolutions”. Besides I’m not even someone who makes resolutions. Have I tried making them? Yes, and failed miserably too. Is that why I’m not trying anymore? Well, maybe. To begin with, for a few years now, the only constant in my list of resolutions has been to start waking up early in the morning. Even my alarm has given up seeing how peacefully I sleep after dismissing it for a million times now. When the fear of missing out starting creeping out, I made it a point to be more social. I made sincere efforts to hang out with three more people than my social capacity of two, but I gave up. It was very exhausting! (I know all the introverts feel me on that)
But, why oh why would I put myself through that heaven again this year one might ask. Knowing how unpredictable and difficult 2020 was, I thought a healthy, stable routine would do me some good. And, the first thought that popped in my mind was to make the coveted “New Year resolutions” list.
Now, I know Albert Einstein had once told, “Insanity is doing the same over and over again and expecting different results”. Knowing how this effort has failed quite spectacularly over the years, trying again is nothing short of insanity. I did start wondering, what if I had been doing it wrong all this time? The idea that a list of goals made at the beginning of the year, which by the way doesn’t know what the following year has in store for everyone, would make someone a completely changed and improved person by the end of the year, looked flawed to me. And besides, the stage for failing to meet my own expectations is right there, owing to my laziness and procrastination. (Mind you, I was technically supposed to be doing this 2 months ago).
But this year, I just want my list to be a gentle reminder for me to start doing the right things, the things which have been begging to be addressed for a while now. Let's start with me taking my health for granted. I had always thought that pushing myself to the extreme to keep up with life was a good thing. But, I have started to realise that it is absolutely reckless of me to keep doing that. Even though my friends call me a robot sometimes, they can be fixed after a breakdown, but not me. Step 1: Start acting like a human and not a robot! Let’s start with the way I walk and talk, and then head to other obvious things like eating well, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep.
I love planning every minute of my day and making all sorts for colourful planners and binders. But the irony is that I still haven't figured out what I want to do after college. And now that I see most of my peers getting accepted to colleges and companies from around the world, I naturally started spiralling down. But I realise that maybe it’s okay that I don't have it all figured out. 2020 happened, burned all my plans down and I did just fine (I think). Step 2: As much as I love my colourful planners, maybe it’s alright not having the next 5 years of my life mapped out. I have to be more open to the opportunities that come along and make the best of everything.
The last thing I want sounds so simple, but it might just be the hardest. Step 3: Be kinder to people. In some momentary lapse of anger or sadness, being rude or mean to others is wrong. Or even judging people and putting them in boxes of good, bad or evil too. If anything fiction has thought me is that people sometimes end up doing bad things because of the time, situation or choices they think they have. (But hey, Arturito is 100% evil! No doubt in that). I’ll start small, but I will start!
Now that I have my no-name no-pressure list out for everyone to read, there is no going back. As simple as it looks, I hope I do start doing some of those things. And for everyone who made till the end of this, thank you for bearing me till the end! 2021 may or may not end up cleaning 2020’s mess, but I hope you smile a little more, have a little more kindness in your heart and a little more hope in your eyes.